Tuesday, December 23, 2008

A Conversation With My MIL

The phone rings last night and I see that it is my MIL. Here is a portion of the conversation.

MIL: Are you all ready for Christmas?

Me: Well, I pretty much was, but then Dad went into the hospital on Monday. So now I have his shopping to do as well as finish up my own. (Background: my dad is terminally ill. He has conjestive heart failure and has been sliding very quickly the past three months or so)

MIL: Oh, dear. Is it his heart:

Me: It's pneumonia this time.

MIL: Do you think he'll be getting out?

Ok, so here is the first "What??" moment in the conversation. Let me just note here that she's not trying to be insensitive, she just has no tact.

Me: Well, I certainly hope so!

Seriously, the next thing she says is:

MIL: Well, I hope you're still planning on coming to (my husbands sister's house) after Christmas.

Me: Well, I guess that will depend on how Dad is doing.

I pretty much ended the conversation there.

Honestly, she's not trying to be insensitive or cruel, it's just her way.

But, that conversation was pretty much the worst one I've had with her. It was like all that mattered was the darned get together they have planned for the 28th. No matter that my dad who is dying is now in the hospital with pneumonia. No matter that my life (and as a result my husband and kids lives) is in turmoil right now because of it. Nope, just make darned sure you make it to the get together.

Needless to say, I was a bit put out. ;)


Anonymous said...

ahhh.. if she's like someone in my family, she'll call back later this week to be sure you're gonna bring the chips and salsa with you!! =O

the only way i can deal with people like that is to completely ignore their lack of sensitivity. otherwise, i might stoop to that level and say some harsh things...

Christie Cottage said...

First, let me say I hope your Dad has a speedy recovery and is home in no time. I just said a prayer for him, you and your family.

People often do not think before they speak, plus they get tunnel vision in regards to things in their lives and are oblivious to the challenges, commitments or needs of others.

I hope you are able to attend the gathering because your Dad will be at home.

Have a Merry Christmas!

Beth said...

Don't you just hate that? People who can't see past their own noses at whatever else is going on around them?

I hope your dad recovers and gets to come home soon.

Shannon said...

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. You handled this convo with your mil very well.

jkziel said...

My mom was diagnosed with congestive heart failure in 2007, she had a surgery in April, and after a lengthy and scary time in the ICU, she seems to be doing ok for now.

I feel for you and your situation with your father.

My MIL is very similar to yours. I know she means no offense, but things were paticularly bad when my mother was going through chemo for breast cancer, her mother died of cancer, and somethings she would say would just scare me to death. I didn't want to hear her stories, I didn't want to hear about her mother's suffering, I didn't want to hear any of it. However, I had to hear of it, anytime we were with my in-laws during that time.

Good luck to you and your family!

SleightGirl said...

I'm so sorry. I know many people like that, that can't see beyond their own nose.

Sending positive thoughts to your dad!

Piggy said...

Thanks for sharing! That sounds like my grandma :P Some folks are like that, you just need to have a BIG heart and just let it go.. I hope your dad gets better. May God bless his health. :)

Fighter of the Night Man said...

soooo hard dealing with people like that! My initial reaction is to completely ignore them, but I understand how impossible it is when you're semi-related. I wish your dad the best of luck and hope he's out just in time for you to miss MIL's holiday gathering. Okay, I guess I'm stooping to her level now. I can't help it.

MNHDesigns said...

Aw, thanks so much everyone! You're all very sweet. ;)

Pfeiffer Photos said...

Sorry about your Dad--hope he's well soon.

About the MIL...I think mine is a clone of yours or vice versa. In fact, as I type this my hubby is on the phone with MIL deflecting all the defensive comments on why Christmas is cancelled due to the fact that we have almost a foot of snow and can't make it out of our driveway let alone drive to their home...

Not evil, not bad, just limited and annoying as all get out.

*Sigh* 'Nuff said.

Merry Christmas to all of you!